He is a sweet guy - no really - he's really sweet, too sweet, in fact.
The "Doctor" is in. Politically and nutritionally incorrect, he is our in-house "bad boy", the shill who gives you a thrill, the doctor who makes you sick, etc. Doctor Sweetstuff is a national security threat, a public relations nightmare, and a liability to human health.
You can try to ignore everything he says, but it is hard not to listen. Words come out of his sweet-talking mouth like honey from a bee hive.
He is lipsmackin' thirstquenchin' acetastin' motivatin' goodbuzzin' cooltalkin' highwalkin' fastlivin' evergivin' and coolfizzin'.
He has his own Twitter and Facebook page.
He sports a Sugar Coat loaded up with the really bad stuff, brings his own signage, and he is always there to defend Big Sugar, Big Soda, and Big Food. He is Big, Big, Big.
Who are we talking about?
On the sly, we captured a few of Doctor Sweetstuff's ripest comments. He apparently is not averse to borrowing lines -and some of them aren't all that sweet.
- A rose by any other name would never smell as sweet as my treats.
- A Spoonful Of Sugar Helps The Medicine Go Down
- Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker! Of course, it’s all the same to your liver.
- Do you like hospital food? A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.
- Everything is a miracle. It is a miracle that one does not dissolve in one's bath like a lump of sugar.
- Fast food and good for you!
- Fruit and vegetables are rabbit food!
- I give you bitter pills in sugar coating. The pills are harmless: the poison is in the sugar.
- I got your food chain right over here!
- Keep it sweet – or smell my feet!
- Listen up, I have a little brain candy for you.
- Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
- Out of sweetness came forth strength!
- Take the bitter with the sweet? No need on my beat.
- Will: It's no fat, no sugar, no dairy... It's no good, throw it out!
- With devotion's visage and pious action we do sugar o'er the devil himself.
- You bet your sweet patootie!
Santa Gave Him a Bag of Coal
Doctor Sweetstuff has been getting on everyone's nerves - even Santa.
And how does the Doc show his appreciation? Eeeeyikes!
Send Dr. Sweetstuff an email and let him know how you feel.